If you’re going through a dark period, you need a way to let in some light. But if people don’t know you're struggling, they may not know to open that door for you. This means it’s up to you to reach out.

Research suggests there's a gender bias in this area—women tend to have more close friends than men and are more likely to reach out to them when facing challenges. So, in particular, I’m encouraging the men reading this: if you're facing challenges, pick up the phone and call someone. Don’t let your pride or ego stop you. Be aware of umerous, and sometimes subtle barriers that may prevent you from reaching out for much needed help.

The two main barriers are:

PRIDE and EGO – If you don’t overcome these and reach out during difficult times, those challenges may impact your pride and ego to the point where there won’t be much of either left. For the sake of keeping your self-worth intact, it’s best to reach out to others.

FEAR of BEING a BURDEN – We often tell ourselves that others don’t care because they have their own problems. This simply isn't true. People care far more than we give them credit for, and they are far less likely to judge us for reaching out than we assume.

Not reaching out can create a downward spiral—you convince yourself no one cares, so you don’t reach out, which seems to confirm that no one cares, and the cycle repeats. On the other hand, reaching out proves that people do care. If you’re unsure how to start the conversation, here’s an opening line:

"Look, I feel a little awkward or embarrassed to be calling, but I just wanted to let you know that..."

Let me assure you, it is not a bother to receive that call from a friend, it’s a privilege. By not reaching out, you may actually be robbing your friend of the opportunity to show they care.

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