Every one of us has Behavioural Style preferences for the way that we like to work, and for those of us in people leadership roles, for the way that we prefer to manage our teams. Having difficult or courageous conversations would be easier and more effective when:

1. I understand the strengths (and flipside challenges) of my own behavioural style

2. I understand the strengths (and flipside challenges) of the behavioural style of the person I need to have a courageous conversation with

3. I’m prepared to think about and adapt my preferences to their preferences in order for the courageous conversation to be more productive

For instance, if I’m a driver in my behavioural style and I know I need to have a difficult conversation with someone who has behavioural style as a peacemaker, then I need to be prepared to tone down the way in which I can come across as too direct and overbearing. I don’t want to overwhelm the peacemaker which may result in a passive-aggressive response where they give positive messages on the conversation, but consciously fail to follow through on agreed actions after the meeting. Simply ask yourself these two questions: what aspects of my nature might I need to turn up or turn down to have a more constructive conversation? And secondly, what aspects of the nature of the recipient should I be cognisant of in order to have a more effective conversation?

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